The CIA does covertly what the government is unable to do overtly. The CIA fights wars without the knowledge of Congress, routinely participates in assassination of foreign leaders, and are generally dicks while causing worldwide mayhem.


1947 – CIA is established:

Under the guise of fighting communism, the agency maintains corporate powers and trade monopolies worldwide. In Operation Mockingbird, it recruits more than 400 journalists. At least 25 well-known organizations, including ABC, CBS, NBC, Reuters, Associated Press, Washington Post and Time Magazine all become CIA assets.

1953 – Operation MK-ULTRA:

The CIA begins developing and using psychedelic drugs (LSD)in mind control experiments. In 1973, CIA Director Helms orders all files destroyed.

More infomation on MKUltra

1953 Iran – Operation AJAX:

Following the nationalization of British oil interest, MI6 and the CIA join forces to overthrow the democratic Mossadegh government and install the Shah of Iran and his brutal regime led by its secret police, the SAVAK.

The CIA trains the SAVAK.

Who go on a killing rampage for the next 26 years.

1954 Guatemala – Operation PBSUCCESS:

Guatemalan President Árbenz is assassinated by the CIA after he privatizes unused land owned by the United Fruit Company. Árbenz reimburses UFC based on the value attributed to the land value declared by the company on its fraudulent tax returns.

The land is given to poor farmers who are able to grow food (other than bananas) to feed their families.

The United Fruit Company fails to see the humor.

1961 Congo – Operation BARRACUDA:

CIA sends a lethal virus via diplomatic pouch to assassinate democratically-elected Patrice Lumumba. Opting not to use the virus, the CIA helps Belgium assassinate and dispose of Lumumba. Mobutu, the epitome of African kleptocracy, rules brutally for the next 35 years.

1961 Dominican Republic

After the US’ own man, dictator Generalissimo Trujillo business interests begin competing with American corporations, the CIA has him murdered.

1964 Brazil

CIA backs a military coup against the popular government of Joao Goulart. His replacement institutes South America’s first death squad!

1965 Indonesia – Operation HIKE:

The CIA overthrows democratically elected Sukarno for control Indonesia’s rich oil fields. Sukarno’s replacement, General Suharto, murders between 500,000 to 1 million “communists”.

The US embassy supplies names of suspected communists to the regime.

1967 Greece

George Papandreou objects to US plans for Cyprus. President Johnson replies, “F*ck your Parliament and your Constitution.”

CIA-backed King Constantine dismisses Papandreou, installing military dictatorship of Papadopoulos – the first CIA agent to become a European premier.

1967 Assassination of Che Guevara

CIA leads the search for infamous revolutionary Che Guevara. Two days after his capture Che is executed. CIA man at the scene steals his Rolex.

Guevara becomes a symbol of anti-imperialism.

1970 Cambodia

The CIA overthrows the overly-neutral govenment of Prince Sahounek and replaces him with its own pro-war Lon Nol paving the way for the brutal Khmer Rouge dictortaship of Pol Pol who kills millions of his own citizens.

1971 haiti

US-trained troops help insure the transition of Papa Doc’s dictatorship to his equally brutal son, 19-year old Baby Doc.

15 years later, the CIA quietly fly their man out to the south of France for a lavish retirement.

1973 Chili – Operation FUBELT:

Chilean coup d’état – CIA overthrows democratically elected Salvador Allende and installs the military junta of General Pinochet. Telecommunication giant ITT offers CIA $1 million to get rid of Allende.

Pinochet rules as dictator until 1990 and escapes trial for war crimes.

1975 – Australia

Prime Minister Gough Whitlam enrages the CIA by cancelling joint CIA-ASIS ops in Chile and demanding a list of CIA operatives in Australia.

The CIA’s man in Australia, Sir John Kerr, in his largely ceremonial position of Governor General, dismisses Whitlam’s government.

All operations are back on.

1983 – Nicaragua

CIA uses the proceeds from the sale of illegal arms to Iran to fund rebel Contras who seek to overthrow the popularly elected Sandinista government.

1989 – Panama

The United States invades Panama and overthrows its own CIA-paid asset of 20+ years, dictator and cocaine drug lord, General Manual Noriega.

1992 – Present:

From obtaining classified information from foes and allies for major defense contractors to stealing fuel efficiency secrets from Japanese automakers for General Motors, the CIA is increasingly involved in corporate espionage following the end of the cold war.